I ended up in a discussion the other day with my brother (this one) about Toradora!, involving in particular its most recent episode and those to come. We agree that Ami was our favorite character in 21 — for my part, because she says all the things I’d say if I suddenly found myself transported into Toradora! (I believe in bitchery for great justice; it’s a real sacrifice) — and that the big reveal at the end felt too contrived. We’re also worried that the show will absolutely butcher its handling of its One True Pairing. I have faith in Toradora!, but doubt lingers; the creators have set up for themselves a tricky situation which, while easy to botch in my estimation, will hit me hard if it succeeds, and in a very good way.
Ryuuji and Taiga’s relationship is, at present (though perhaps not for long), what I’d call romantic friendship (lolikitsune elaborates). They employ some of the trappings of people in love, such as taking care of one another domestically and making sacrifices — what they have can probably be called love — but there’s no apparent sexual attraction, nor do they make overtly romantic gestures toward one another. Honestly, I think ambiguously romantic gestures are some of the most romantic of all…
…but that’s beside the point; the point is that romantic friendship is complicated. It’s hard to know precisely what it is at any given time. It can evolve into full-blown romance, and it can devolve into friendship (with the caveat that “evolve” and “devolve” are awful words for this situation in that they imply heirarchy), but the process is rarely simple. First, are Taiga’s feelings for Ryuuji of the truly romantic variety, or does she simply think they are? What of Ryuuji’s feelings for Taiga, which he hasn’t made totally clear recently? What does “truly romantic” even mean? And if the two decide to try romance, will they listen to Ami for once and realize that, once they’ve started, there is no going back?
My brother concludes that he’d almost rather see Taiga and Ryuuji in a pity-based or rebound relationship — gloomy prospects, sure, but perhaps more fulfilling than obvious contrivance.
I completely disagree with you on one thing there. Romantic friendship, in and of itself, is incredibly simple. The complications only arise when society/other friends pressure you/”educate” you such that you “realize” that romantic friendship is “in the way of” romance, which is somehow “a good thing” that you must sacrifice romantic friendship for. Because either you try to go farther with the romantic friendship and succeed, or you try to go farther with the romantic friendship and fail, or you feel you need to weaken your bond in order to pursue some other love interest.
If you ignore templates and molds for relationships, if you ignore a society that believes in couples, if you ignore friends who don’t ignore those things, it’s all very simple.
Granted, in the case of Toradora!, Takasu is surrounded by idiots who are like “omg! who do you really like!!” when actually he just wants to be friendly and close with everyone. Sigh.
Now for an out-of-context quote from Murs’ “Can It Be”:
It’s lovin’ each other…
I recall a phrase in a Terry Prachett novel that went “It could be love, or the next-best thing.” I’m currently halfway through Toradora! and right now don’t really mind if their relationship hasn’t gone anywhere. Maybe it’s the journey meaning more than the destination…or maybe I’m just scared the series will have a lousy ending.
You know, I’ve only ever thought one anime had a “lousy ending,” and that was Air. And even then, it was something about the execution, rather than what actually happened. I guess Eliot’s thing about only judging what something tries to do, rather than what it does not try to do, makes so much sense to me because I was already doing it? Whatever the ending is, that’s the ending. I harbor no worries about Toradora’s ending — though as we get nearer and everyone starts to freak out, I’m likely to pick up worries from everyone else.
Wait, another example. I thought the epilogue for Harry Potter was shit. : D
I’ve had one of these, your romantic friendships – that has lasted over a decade, that has seen us through each other’s weddings to different people. You can now say it’s ‘devolved’ into just us being pals, or maybe it has been like that all along – because we were each other’s support while we were totally into different people anyway, as Ryuji and Taiga have been.
We’d use to go out attacking the singles scene and be each other’s ‘date,’ acting as deterrents if the attention we get is undesirable (from unattractive people), but totally each other’s wingman scouting the scene for hawtness. Most of the time we’d go home without finding anyone for each other and just have fun with our own company.
I agree with lolikitsune that it’s not really complicated at all. It only becomes so when you’re ronery (or holny) and she’s all you have in the world, but then again even that is simple.
@lolikitsune
True. The same could be said of a lot of things, but, unfortunately, culture is ever-present. I also mean specifically that romantic friendship is complicated from an outsider’s perspective, or at least from my perspective; it may be easy for Ryuuji and Taiga to just do it, but from my point of view, informed as it is by a culture that doesn’t really acknowledge romantic friendship as such, it’s more difficult to take things at face value. It also becomes complicated when romantic friendship stands on the brink of becoming something else, which seems to be where Toradora is headed.
@Martin
Scared of a lousy ending — yeah, that’s where I’m at. Perhaps selfishly, I just want it to feel as relevant to my experience as it has so far, regardless of who ends up with whom.
@Cuchlann
Oh, yeah, Air…I didn’t realize it had a “good” end until I looked it up on Wikipedia. I’m inclined to side with Eliot there, though I do think there’s something to be said for conspicuous absences in texts — just don’t ask me to define “conspicuous absence.”
Also, yeah, the epilogue for Harry Potter was shit, I agree.
@ghostlightning
Ah, that’s a good story. The few relationships I’ve had that could be called romantic friendships tended to result in the other party wanting to date me. Only once did I feel inclined to reciprocate — I’ve already described how that went. Either way the desire for all-out romance has tended to complicate things. I really wish it could’ve remained simple.