By “Madaramean Principle” I mean that argument made by Harunobu Madarame in the fourth chapter of Genshiken in defense of 2D porn: the human mind can make quite a lot out of very little.

Perhaps the rather simplistic character designs of Strike Witches demonstrate this in themselves. The selectively-censored disrobed Witches, with their overlarge heads and implausible builds, aren’t strictly, technically what we’d probably think of as human-looking — but they’re evocative enough of human beings that we can “read” them as such without much trouble, especially if we’re trained to do so by years of anime consumption. And, to be fair, better they look like caricatures than fall into the uncanny valley.

But there’s a particular example of how significant an impression very minor details might make on us in Strike Witches’ first episode. I’m talking about that character I’ve been calling the “moe grandma” not because she arouses those moe feelings in me, necessarily, but simply because of her character design.

It occurred to me, during this scene, that, aside from coloring and clothing (relatively ambiguous factors, in my opinion, particularly when we’re new to a show and the fictitious or fictionalized people and cultures it presents), there really wasn’t much about these characters that suggested age. Four lines, in fact. So I removed them just to see what would happen.

Not much has changed with Miyafuji’s mom, who is more “comprehensively” aged, I suppose. But I seem to have done the grandma quite a favor.

Is this an example of artistic laziness at work in contemporary moe anime? Maybe, but what does it matter, as long as those four lines work? And they do work, I’d say; perhaps surprisingly so. Rather than bemoan such art for its laziness, perhaps we should praise it for a simplicity that allows a large degree of viewer agency — if indeed it does, but it would seem to me that four well-placed lines can be as authoritative as four hundred.

(Pontifus = gray; Otouto-kun = blue.)

(0:52) So there are men, then.

(0:55) Well yeah. We’ve seen men before.

(1:02) I know. But there are men around that they can talk to. They’re not vestal virgins, surrounded only by eunuchs. It’s not the emperor’s harem.

(1:19) There was that guy who got the chest wound.

(1:22) I know, but I’m just saying, there are men near the 501st now. I didn’t know. Hey, you know what? Why aren’t there any African witches? Why aren’t there any American witches? Is England literally the only place left in the world?

(2:07) Japan hasn’t been taken.

(2:10) So, what I’m saying is, why aren’t there any African witches, or South American witches? Why aren’t there any Aztec witches? You know, given operative magic, it’s not hard to see how the colonization of the Americas might have just failed. Anyway, I guess we should actually talk about this episode.

(4:24) “Here’s a bunch of pants. Wear them proudly.”

(4:28) “You may not know how to use them at first, but, with practice, you’ll get it.”

(4:53) I like to imagine that there’s a cameraman shooting all these opportune angles.

(4:57) I don’t want to, because I don’t want to meet that guy.

(5:06) You are that guy. You are he. Given how it works, they sort of make the viewer that person.

(5:51) I thought she had no experience with men. Why does she know about that stuff? She was just talking about how she’d never talked to men.

(6:00) This is just not meant to be. It’s like the guy from Rozen Maiden who was always trying to confess to the sister.

(6:12) You know that was only in the anime?

(6:14) Yeah, I know. I actually prefer the anime to the manga.

(7:04) “There will be no non-yuri relationships in this show! Do I make myself clear?”

(7:15) Suddenly I’m not so annoyed that she’s being a tightass about this.

(7:26) Maybe she just has some man-related hangup.

(8:08) Oh my God.

(8:11) This show just got awesome…er. More awesome.

(8:14) You would say that.

(9:25) Oh, it’s the fifth angel.

(9:26) It’s the Borg!

(9:35) They need to reroute all the power in the city to the sniper rifle.

(9:46) Anti-Spirals.

(10:03) 210 is still less than the number of Starman Supers TheKittymeister killed before giving up on the Sword of Kings.

(11:02) Wait, what?

(11:06) Thundaga.

(11:07) I think this is the first time they’ve used attack spells.

(12:37) I just wonder, what’s the role of artists in this world? If the European continent is gone, where’s James Joyce? Actually, no, he’d be dead anyway.

(13:59) Like that time in Diebuster, it’s only beautiful until you really think about it. It’s scattered enemy parts.

(14:10) Enemy entrails.

(14:31) I’m worried we’ll find out that Minna’s problem is really serious. That it’s not something we can just make throwaway jokes about.

(14:56) “Everyone was turned into little presents!”

(15:12) Funny how people decide to have their crises right before they find a way to solve them.

(15:24) They find a way to solve them, I think, because they’re actively thinking about them. There’s probably a good way and a bad way to do it; if the solving of the crisis is incidental, then, yeah, it’s a little questionable. But if it’s a result of their thinking more about it, it’s okay.

(15:51) “That’s my jacket! What are you doing!?”

(15:53) “Cut that shit out! You’ll have to buy me a new one.”

(16:00) Do you think it was her brother, or her fiance? Her dad? Her son?

(16:08) Son?

(16:13) People age well in this world. Remember the moe grandma?

(17:34) Oh, he survived.

(17:41) Explosion.

(17:44) Yep. That’s that scene. That’s the ten seconds prior to explosion scene.

(17:56) It’s okay, he had time to drive a car out, put a package in it that she could find, and go back to die.

(18:08) That’s true. He did pretty well in his final moments.

(18:33) I wonder how much shit his fellow soldiers give him for being obsessed with…

(18:41) Being a pedophile?

(18:42) Oh yeah, that too.

(18:47) Maybe he’s their age. Maybe people join the military really young.

(18:53) Given that they’re fighting desperately for survival, it wouldn’t be surprising at all if younger people were in the military.

(19:41) This is a Japanese version of the German song? We’ll have to look up the original.

(19:58) It’s actually a slow version of “99 Luftballons.”

(20:18) I sometimes feel like I should break out into song also.

(20:27) Okay, so what was she…why…what?

(22:33) It’s her coming to terms with her boyfriend’s death, I suppose.

(20:39) Yeah, but…

(21:50) Is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?

(21:56) Dunno.

(22:05) Ooh. You know, I called it at the very beginning.

(22:10) I knew there’d be one, but I almost think this is going to be a false alarm. Maybe not?

(22:37) “I’ll kill you now so you don’t have to die later! Because I love you!”

(22:45) It’s like that Stephen King book where the woman keeps the writer locked up. I can’t remember what it’s called. [That would be Misery.]

(23:27) And she’s forcing him to rewrite an ending she didn’t like. Fucking fans, man.

(23:36) No kidding.

We are no longer fit for marriage.

(Pontifus = gray; Otouto-kun = blue.)

Episode 6

(0:33) Now that we’re almost halfway through, what would you say your preliminary MyAnimeList rating is?

(0:53) Five.

(0:55) Five? That’s brutal, man.

(0:57) Really? Would you say so? A good five.

(1:04) I think that’s pretty harsh.

(1:07) Really? I was going to say higher, but I wasn’t sure.

(1:11) I actually don’t know yet. It’s not really a fair question. For a lot of reasons I think it’s very amusing. I find it…not really funny, so much as…

(1:32) Fun?

(1:33) Yeah, fun. But now I have to decide whether that raises it above mediocrity. And, remember, we still don’t know what’s going to happen later on. Something really crazy might happen, for all we know. Something really intense.

(2:15) I feel like this should be meta-commentary of the director and the animation crew talking about the producers.

(2:28) That’s…true. Yeah…it’s kind of uncomfortable to think about.

(3:18) It’s me.

(3:20) Don’t worry, it’s just the audience.

(3:23) I’m looking.

(3:51) Every time they say “strikers,” I keep thinking of the third season of Nanoha. It’s not a good analogy, you know? If a comparison can be made between Nanoha StrikerS and another show, it’s not flattering for the other.

(6:57) I love her Hatsune Miku outfit.

(8:17) I like the slice of life aspect. I just wonder if anything’s being done here that hasn’t been done before. It doesn’t really help that I’m watching a fantastic military slice of life show right now.

(9:48) They don’t need that shit, they need caffeine!

(14:11) The one bodily function allowed to members of the slice of life girl band is sweating. They’re allowed to sweat, and they’re allowed to need to bathe. But that’s it.

(15:28) For a second the rain and the rafter looked like that scene from Fate. It sort of gave me chills when I saw that.

(16:39) I like this episode. I like what’s happening here.

(17:19) Even if they’re doing military work, it’s still slice of –

(17:28) Never mind.

(17:43) Oh, it’s the Vajra. Space whales. How many links do you think we’ll need to contextualize all these references we’re making?

(17:57) Lots.

(18:07) Just do what Basara did. Sing “New Frontier” and hope for the best.

(18:41) Alright, so the slice of life is good, but…you know the moments that are supposed to be really cool? Where there are these fanservicy girls packing heat? I’m totally buying it. I think that’s why I said your five was a little stingy. Because I’m totally buying it. Stuff that’s supposed to be cool is cool to me.

(22:07) Oh, come on. Higher-ups in anime militaries are always incompetent. No exceptions.

(22:43) I want to keep watching this show. It pisses me off.

(22:49) Why? What pisses you off?

(22:53) The level of enjoyment I get from this show.

(22:57) I’m buying it. I’m not ashamed. I mean, I’m a little ashamed. But, yeah, I’ll go along. I’ll participate.

Episode 7

(0:09) Let’s recap. We watched this once. We watched the uncensored fan edit, thinking it was the “real” version. And I think that we will never be the same after that.

(0:40) Yeah. I agree.

(0:46) What has been seen can never be unseen. Now let’s watch this for real. Let’s actually try to make comments about the plot. You know? Because last time all we could talk about was…I mean, you know.

(1:03) Yeah, I know. I was there.

(2:51) Have I already said something about that not actually looking like a real sword style? She just looks like she’s swinging her sword around randomly.

(3:01) That’s because she is.

(3:03) She doesn’t actually know a sword style. She just likes swinging it around.

(3:10) Well, so far, she swings at something, and she hits it, and that’s her style.

(3:24) Oh, there’s a scene with the bread in the mouth. The late person with…but it didn’t even look like toast. It’s supposed to be toast.

(3:32) It wasn’t toast. It was just bread.

(3:35) Why would you just have a piece of bread!? That’s stupid! It has to be toast!

(3:45) She didn’t have time to toast it. It’s the extremely-late bread-in-mouth.

(4:43) That’s a good question. What is the tenth? Tenth is no pants. It’s a rule.

(4:55) Why is Lieutenant Crazyname tight with Hartmann? Oh, I guess they’re both German. Right?

(5:02) Yeah.

(5:06) Karlsland.

(5:22) Pants…

(5:23) There are no pants!

(6:16) That just strikes me as a great Gurren Lagann line. “Believe in the sword that believes in itself,” or something. “Believe in the sword that believes in you who believes in yourself who believes in the sword.”

(6:47) One thing that critics of this show like to point out is that Lucchini is twelve.

(6:55) Uh-huh. And?

(7:00) Which does make you feel kind of creepy if you really think about it. I mean…

(7:06) …

(7:11) You’re just a pedophile! You’re just a pedophile.

(7:13) I’m surprised they didn’t make her 23 or something. I’m surprised they didn’t make her the oldest.

(9:37) This is better for my delicate sensibilities than the uncensored version.

(9:42) I’ll let that one slide.

(9:50) Your delicate sensibilities? Really?

(9:52) I thought you were going to let it slide.

(9:54) I can’t! You’re more twisted than I am.

(9:58) Dude. I’m normal as shit.

(10:02) I have to say, even if it’s in different ways, you’re still a lot more twisted than me. Like, messed up…

(10:13) I’m not like you, man. I am not like you.

(11:23) Subtle. They can just pop out their furry features whenever they want?

(12:17) “They had the good stuff this time.”

(12:19) That doesn’t look like an important delivery. It looks like they went to get some croissants or something.

(12:29) Croissant bombs. For the enemy.

(12:33) The enemy doesn’t need croissants.

(14:31) Slice of life shows aren’t postmodern enough, they need to be more…no, I think that’s the appeal.

(16:48) They couldn’t just go back to their rooms and get new pairs? Is that the only underwear they own?

(17:08) That is a fantastic question. Each of them has one pair? Wouldn’t the one pair get a little ratty after a while?

(20:04) You know, considering how many enemies these people have shot down, we haven’t seen many Neuroi.

(20:13) Yeah, the thing is, until this point, only one has shown up per week.

(20:27) Maybe they were stationed at the front, or something.

(20:34) They’re stationed at the front now, technically. The front being the entire European continent.

(20:55) In the first episode, she had shot down 200. And now she’s getting her award for 250? What did we miss!?

(22:26) I don’t feel as dirty as when we watched that other version. I mean, I don’t feel any more defiled than this show makes me feel anyway. I guess I should specify that.

On a related note: you know you’ve seen too much Gundam in too little time when “it’s about time somebody hit somebody.” What have you done to me, Zeta!?

You know the drill — I’m in gray; Otouto-kun’s in blue.

Episode 4

(0:34) I have to admit, this is a pretty fun show. The thing that saves it is that it doesn’t take itself seriously at all. If it did we’d have some problems, but it doesn’t.

(3:10) “I was voted as having the most annoying voice ever!”

(3:19) That’s your character, man. It’s the quiet dojikko. Don’t insult her voice. That’s your waifu, as it were.

(4:28) I’m trying to figure out how to support what we’re saying with screencaps, and it’s really blowing my mind. I have no idea.

(4:45) You’re in the military. Come on. I’m sure you’ve eaten worse.

(4:48) Yeah, but it’s natto. I’ve heard natto described as tasting like gasoline, basically.

(5:54) See, it seems like the central conflict is always a personal thing. It’s never the combat.

(6:48) It seems like these depressing scenes are offset by the lack of pants.

(6:55) I feel like we’ll get used to it. I’m already starting to. But I worry that there aren’t enough episodes to get us used to it. Maybe we won’t be used to it until the second season.

(7:30) This is like Simoun. Just with less lesbianism and less pants.

(7:58) No, she’s just upset about having a bizarre name.

(8:01) Well she is a dog. She does have dog features.

(8:06) But having a pun name is terrible. How much shit did she get all through elementary school?

(8:50) Specifically she said “black tea.” “You shouldn’t slurp while drinking black tea.”

(9:24) You know what really sucks?

(9:27) Hmm?

(9:28) When you’re watching a show for the first time, and you’re like, “Man, I have seen more porn of this than I ever realized and would ever care to admit.” You know what I mean? You know that feeling?

(9:47) I know the feeling. It’s not happening with this show.

(10:13) Either the yen is in good shape, or the pound is in bad shape.

(13:54) “Her face is all melted now…I just don’t like to see it. It grosses me out.”

(13:58) They’re throwing all this fanservice at you nonstop from the beginning, so you’re just used to it.

(14:08) You know what? They’re not throwing it. It’s just there. That’s the brilliant thing. They’re not “throwing.” And that’s how they’re acclimating you to it. It’s just ever-present; it’s a fact of the setting.

(14:29) They still haven’t explained why they aren’t wearing pants.

(14:35) Because.

(14:40) I mean, how it all started.

(14:45) Because.

(16:04) Hey, it’s got a useless spinny thing, like the Argama.

(17:27) Chest wound. What’s that, the third torso wound? Of three wounds?

(17:40) Just drop a HoT on her and get back out there.

(18:49) So far these squad members have pretty typical squad member problems. Like the failure to protect someone, or the feeling of being useless.

(19:42) I just want to note the level of awesome inherent in a pantsless chick with mecha-shoes wielding a machine gun in each hand.

(20:03) It’s about fucking time somebody hit somebody!

(20:06) Yeah, no kidding. I’ve been waiting for that.

(20:22) She is alive. “But she’s so ugly now!”

(20:31) She’ll never get her legs back.

(20:35) That’s okay, just pop those mecha-legs on her. She’ll be fine.

(20:38) Huh. That’s a good idea.

(22:24) “Unfortunately my sister is still a quadruple amputee. But, eh, you know.” This is going to be an ongoing thing. The hideous reincarnation of Lieutenant Crazyname’s sister.

Episode 5

(0:07) It’s cool, she’s the tsundere, she’ll get better.

(1:16) You know, it no longer bothers me, actually, that they don’t wear pants. I think I’m okay with it now. It only took four episodes.

(1:24) Once you watch a few episodes, you move past it.

(1:29) And like I was saying last time, I really think it’s because it’s just there. It’s not thrown at you. That’s just how it happens to be.

(1:44) It’s all part of the setting.

(1:45) It just so happens that that’s how classy young ladies dress.

(1:53) And by God I’m going to enjoy it.

(1:56) I know you are. You know, I bet the aliens stole all the pants.

(2:00) Maybe. Maybe they’re trying to get the pants back. It’s not the war on pants, it’s the war for pants.

(2:10) But then, once they get them back, they realize, “You know what? We never needed pants to begin with. We’re fine just the way we are.”

(2:20) Oh shit.

(2:39) Are they just not going to explain that at all?

(2:43) Honestly, it’s probably more exciting if they don’t explain it.

(3:51) Oh man! Did you get the pun?

(3:56) Apparently not.

(4:00) Apparently however you say “formation” is similar to “hentai.” So probably what Miyafuji said is something about perverted stuff, and what Lynette heard was flying in formation. [The confusion is between hentai/編隊 (formation) and hentai/変態 (the word you're familiar with already).]

(5:00) You know what would be fantastic? If, in the next episode, Miyafuji becomes a harem protagonist. That’d be just great.

(6:13) That’s a really thin finger.

(6:30) Now that we’ve gotten past the first couple of episodes, we’re in the lazy art zone. This is the middle stretch where they slack a little, inevitably.

(10:41) How could that have been an accident, that grope? There’s no way.

(11:10) I know what that is.

(11:12) What, a Brightburger?

(11:13) No, the place.

(12:02) I just don’t think that’s safe.

(12:04) She’s going to kill herself!

(12:18) Well, people in planes do it. In planes.

(12:55) Real efficient. They let one of their people sleep for 23 hours a day.

(13:34) How much do you want to bet she accidentally modified them such that they can now go the speed of sound?

(18:10) Did you see the map? Lomdom. Never heard of that place. Is it anywhere near London?

(20:59) She just did a Macross Attack with her body.

(21:22) Well if that’s the only side effect, I guess that’s acceptable…

(21:27) …Oh. Shit.

(22:05) She’s totally a harem protagonist.

(22:10) I believe they call that “rape.”

(23:00) So, what did we learn? We learned that our protagonist likes boobies. Which makes her relatable. I do as well.

(23:17) I’m a big fan.

(23:27) So is it still ambiguous enough that we can say they’re not actually lesbians, they’re just friendly? The flat-chested girl is just fascinated with people who are not? Can we say that still? Has it crossed the point of no return yet?

(24:03) I think it depends on who you are.

(24:05) I think it depends on what you want.

Same as before: my comments are gray, and Otouto-kun’s are blue.

Episode 2

(0:13) Sieg Neuroi!

(0:23) I love how the first alien ship they show looks like a 1940s plane. And the other one looks like a stingray.

(0:51) I think, regarding the magic vs. science question, we have kind of a Nanoha setup here, where they’re basically the same thing. Which is fine with me, I think that’s great.

(1:36) I don’t know about the whole furry thing.

(1:40) They’re like 2% animal. It’s not furry at that point. There’s a spectrum.

(2:55) Looks like someone could use a Brightslap.

(3:03) It’s not really far enough in for that. She doesn’t have a lot of duty to the team yet.

(3:08) Well if she’s already having her crisis…she’s about to get verbally Brightslapped.

(3:27) Bright-caress.

(4:35) I have to admit the epic here. Everyone else is in a plane, and this chick is like, “Fuck it, I’ve got flying shoes, a sword…that’s all I need.”

(5:00) I really like lasers that change direction once. It’s completely ridiculous, but I like that.

(5:13) I’m not so sure I do.

(5:17) It just looks cool.

(6:24) Did she get over her crisis already? She’s manlier than Amuro, I can give her that much.

(7:15) This is too ridiculous. And I should note that that’s not a complaint.

(7:36) If she has to use her eye so much, why wear an eyepatch?

(7:44) Maybe she’s afflicted with Cyclops syndrome. She doesn’t want to use it accidentally.

(8:02) There are a lot of torso wounds in this show.

(8:09) “Sorry, we fused your hand to your stomach…”

(8:57) You have to love how lax military structure is in these shows.

(10:06) Isn’t this happening a little early?

(10:09) Yeah, we’re getting a lot of false alarms as far as heroic crises go.

(10:16) Maybe she just has a lot of crises.

(11:02) “You’re the greatest of my creations…you’ll have to fight the other ones, though.” It’s her Rozen dad.

(11:25) Wow. You know, for a show like this, this music is fucking epic.

(11:46) “Hey, did we disable that extra pair of legs, so no one could steal them?”

(11:53) “Do we ever do that? Are we supposed to do that?”

(12:05) You know there will be Nazis in here. They have to show up eventually; it’s alternate-1944. Maybe we’ll get mecha-Hitler, or wizard-Hitler, or mecha-wizard-Hitler…

(12:43) Hitler with two machine guns.

(13:14) I was going to say her sailor uniform was a little inappropriate, but she’s kind of on a boat…this is probably the one time it’s ever been appropriate.

(13:59) This show is really capitalizing on the zettai ryouiki.

(15:18) All the different fetishes going on…whoever made this is a sick, sick genius.

(15:48) “Use the force, Luke!”

(15:52) “Stay on target…”

(16:04) “You’re all clear, kid, now let’s blow this thing and go home!”

(16:52) Too bad she died. Show’s over.

(16:55) The end.

(17:15) Remember my question from the last episode? The yuri content? Here we go.

(17:36) I wonder if they name their leggings.

(17:39) Do they name each one separately, or do they just name the pair?

(18:11) Hey, look, everyone who supposedly died is fine!

(18:14) The bridge is a little fucked. It always pains me to see capital ships in states of disrepair.

(18:37) I really want to sing the song, you know?

(18:40) What song?

(18:41) “Rule Britannia.” It’s a song that was co-opted by Richard Garriott for use as the Lord British theme.

(21:21) One annoying cry later…

(21:24) I know, I hate that exaggerated anime cry.

(21:30) At that part even more so. It kind of came out of nowhere.

(21:51) I want to see some whipping.

[Also: I'll be damned if this isn't basically Toma's grave at the West Cape. You win this round, Strike Witches!]

Episode 3

(0:39) You know, under that table, they aren’t wearing any pants, either.

(1:57) “Look, Major, you’re not cool just because you use a sword. You’re going to die out there. Use a gun.”

(2:07) That’s a Final Fantasy contrivance right there.

(2:23) You know what would be really funny? If they sleep with pants on.

(4:07) They probably did a dub of this. I just have to wonder how that turned out.

(4:36) How the fuck is she a sergeant?

(4:37) She’s a sergeant!? Wow.

(4:40) They bumped her right up to NCO.

(4:51) “Oh yeah, and everyone gets a free gun. It’s one of the perks.”

(4:57) “What, you don’t want the free gun?”

(4:59) “As a priest, I don’t have proficiency in that weapon.” Stupid clothies.

(6:15) “Ilyasviel von Einzbern.”

(6:50) I bet I know who your favorite character is.

(6:55) Shut up.

(6:58) Tell me I’m wrong.

(7:02) Can we continue to watch?

(7:04) Let us continue.

(8:16) “But Legolas got 201.”

(8:44) Well, hey. Stay in the back and hit that F2 button.

(9:39) Oh, I guess there won’t be any Nazis, then.

(11:39) You know, I’m really glad they had a leggings character.

(11:42) Yeah.

(11:47) I’m really glad you didn’t ask me any questions about that.

(11:51) What? I completely agree.

(13:45) “It’s my second day! Come on!”

(13:49) Yeah, what is this little lecture about?

(14:01) If it were Zeta Gundam, that lady would’ve just slapped her around for no reason.

(14:58) “Hey, I’m not the protagonist. Don’t hold me to your standards.”

(15:12) There are so many pairing opportunities here, and I bet that is just as planned.

(17:53) I just keep thinking that this would be a very different show if Captain Bright were around.

(17:59) It’d be an extremely different show if there were a Bright.

(18:03) No, I mean Bright himself.

(18:05) If Bright himself were here?

(18:07) Oh yeah.

(18:08) As long as he’s wearing pants.

(18:10) Oh, no. No, he’s not.

(18:49) I love this British schoolgirl. She’s Hermione Granger, just with no pants.

(19:19) So I wonder if this is essentially military slice of life. I wonder if we aren’t going to see that much combat. If that’s the case, I’m kind of surprised they started with as much combat as they did.

(21:47) That really creeps me out. They look like they have no feet when they have those things on.

(21:52) At least they don’t have hooves.

(22:04) “You broke two perfectly good pairs of flying leggings! They aren’t supposed to get wet!”

(22:21) “We could get the guillotine for this! Yay!”

(22:38) What do you think? Is this more slice of life, or is it more action-oriented? It’s definitely both, but I just wonder where it’s going to go from here.

And we’ve decided, also, to subject you all to our experience. Because we’re demonstrably bad at audio, we’ve transcribed and abbreviated our conversations, adding screencaps and links for context.

Thus, for your reading pleasure, here’s our adventure through Strike Witches episode one, with my comments in the usual gray, and Otouto-kun’s in lovely #3f35a1 (i.e. blue). We’re giving you this episode by itself, as the transcription ended up at almost a thousand words; toward the middle of the show, we’ll start doing two episodes per post. We may seem inclined toward complaint here, but, lest you think future posts will sound much like this one, we came to admit, perhaps a third of the way in, that we were buying what Strike Witches was selling.

Well. Most of it, anyway. But we’ll get to all that.

(0:28) It’s District 9…the anime!

(0:31): It’s Independence Day.

(0:43) Oh great, it’s the second half of Gurren Lagann.

(0:45): Hey, good, it’s the good part.

(1:09) So, it’s M.A.S.K., then. With magical girls.

(1:55): Well, they didn’t really fuck around, as far as getting into the plot goes.

(2:00) Yeah, no kidding.

(2:02): I cannot fathom how this is going to be good. Like, I can’t even imagine.

(2:09) The war on pants!

(2:23) Really? Is that a necessity?

(2:31): Of course.

(2:32) No, don’t say that.

(2:36): Why, because nobody said “take over the world?” I can’t say “of course” yet?

(2:43) No, I’m saying, don’t say that, because I don’t want that to be a necessity.

(2:50): The amazing thing to me is, it seems like they don’t wear pants on a daily basis. It doesn’t even matter whether they have their mecha-pants on.

(3:07) “Red Leader, this is Red Two. Going in.” “Alright, right behind you, Red Leader.” “…They came from…behind!”

(3:22): You almost have to have a lot of respect for the creators. Because this is a fanservice show, and they don’t give a shit. They don’t care at all. They’re not ashamed.

(4:39): I just don’t…what is this? What are we doing? What are we doing here?

(4:58) Watching softcore porn?

(5:01): Oh, no, nothing like that has happened yet.

(5:05) I’m sure it will.

(5:07): No, I doubt it. I really doubt it. It’s just some loli fanservice.

(5:36) Maybe it’ll have really good action sequences, or something.

(5:47): I mean, I knew what this was going into it. I didn’t really have any illusions.

(5:57) I just don’t understand why they insist on not wearing pants.

(6:01): It’s dress code. Which makes you wonder, who came up with the dress code?

(7:18) Tousaka! You have to carry on the family name!

(8:01) Where would one get a picture like that?

(8:14) She’s my favorite character, by the way.

(8:16): Eyepatch?

(8:17) The one with the eyepatch.

(8:21): Weird eyepatch fetish.

(8:34) She’s dead, show’s over.

(8:37): Oh shit.

(8:40) I didn’t mean it!

(8:47): “Thanks, Cleric.”

(8:55) So they’re secretly foxes? They’re fox spirits?

(9:09): You know, I just don’t feel like it would be such a bad thing if you couldn’t control a cure. “Oops, I accidentally cast curaga. You’re fucking dead.”

(9:44): That was not much of a bandage.

(9:50) I guess she just cut her nipple, or…something.

(10:05): You know how you know this show is going to be just classic? Because the old lady is moe.

(10:45): “Unfortunately I left the house this morning without my pants on.”

(10:55) Hey, they have to find some way to cheer up the crowd, with all this fighting going on.

(11:02): What fighting? We’ve seen about thirty seconds of fighting.

(11:11) I imagine there’s a lot of fighting. I don’t know.

(11:15): Well, the brief introduction to the setting in the beginning would suggest that.

(11:46): I would’ve liked to see the old lady in bloomers, too. It’s only fair.

(12:48): Oh, great. “Lord British needs you!”

(13:29) That just looks awkward. It doesn’t even look good.

(13:33): I know. It looks like a Navy coat, and then…and then bloomers. It’s just bizarre.

(14:01): I don’t like the gender segregation here. I feel like men should also wear no pants. You know? They should wear Speedos.

(14:28): “Through the moongate!”

(14:33) “Hey, can we get a gate over here?”

(14:43): You’re making me remember standing at the Moonglow bank, looking for a gate to the bone knight room. …You have no idea what I’m talking about. But someone will.

(15:13): I would’ve liked to have gotten to know the mom and the grandmother a little. It’s just that we have a plot that’s going at about mach three here.

(15:30) Well, think of it like King Gainer.

(15:36): I think it makes a little more sense than the beginning of King Gainer.

(16:11) “Allow me to be your healer!”

(16:24): “No problem…/invite”

(16:49): So…how much of the yuri do you think we’re going to see in this?

(17:01) I was going to say earlier that there should be more.

(17:04): There should be more? It just started! What do you want?

(17:19) How much do I think we’ll see? Hopefully a lot.

(17:24): “Hopefully a lot.” That’s…the whole internet’s going to know.

(17:45): Would you call this magic…or SCIENCE? Both?

(17:52) I would say it’s a mix. Magical science.

(18:51) And we have our name, ladies and gentlemen!

(18:53): Yeah, there’s the title drop.

(19:02) “Wait a second, so you’re telling me my father is the one who decided that we should send preteen girls out to quite possibly die for their country?”

(19:27): More importantly — so her dad is the one who decided that they all have to wear bloomers, and no pants? “Goddammit, Dad. Goddammit.”

(20:43) At least she wears a dress.

(20:45): Yeah, she’s got lower body clothes. That’s good.

(21:09): They should’ve known. The enemy always interrupts the conversation about when the writer couldn’t really sustain it any longer. Right when it would become awkward. That’s when the attack happens.

(21:28): I really think it’s cheap when a character has an eyepatch, but actually has an eye underneath.

(21:40) Boom. Ah, story’s over.

(21:47): They need an AT field. Some Minovsky particles.

(21:55) Strike Witches, ASSEMBLE!

(22:35): So. I think that my initial impression is, “What the hell am I watching? And why?”

(22:46) Couldn’t tell you.

(23:18): So…am I gay if I kind of want there to be a trap? Does that make me gay?

(23:27) No.

(23:28): It doesn’t? Why?

(23:33) If there’s one trap, there are plenty of other characters who aren’t traps.

(23:38): Hey, flawless logic is flawless!

(23:40) There you go.

I’m aware there’s another episode of Durarara!! out, but I haven’t seen it yet; it may show up in my next bout of catchup posts, after my next post-schoolwork marathon. Or maybe that won’t be necessary — spring break is coming up, and it’s not as if I have any plans.

Katanagatari 1-2

From Twitter:

2.26.2010 5:08:20 Katanagatari 1: So, uh, what keeps them from just killing their opponents during those 5-minute speeches? Dramatically convenient bushido?

2.26.2010 5:09:20 Katanagatari 1 cont.: Stupid complaint, since it’s sort of played for humor, but I like plausibly brief fights to the death these days.

2.26.2010 5:39:41 One thing I’m coming to love about Nishio Ishin: really twisted romance.

2.26.2010 6:45:24 Katanagatari 2: Haven’t decided how I feel about the author surrogate thing, but I definitely like this enough to continue.

As it says. There’s enough for me to like about this — the art, the music, the humor and general delivery, the fact that Shichika is basically Sabin/Mash from Final Fantasy 6 — that I’ll be trying to keep up with it. But I do want to talk a little about the author surrogate issue.

I raise a brow at Katanagatari’s author surrogate with the understanding that, in my current fiction-writing project, I’ll need to introduce an author character some 35,000 words ahead of where I am. And I want very much to avoid turning him into an author surrogate, so it’s probably worth considering at this point what, exactly, constitutes such a thing.

Consider Stephen Dedalus — not the mopey one from Ulysses so much as the…somewhat less mopey one from A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man. Stephen is, quite literally, a surrogate of James Joyce; the Portrait is semi-autobiographical. And he gives voice to a good bit of metafiction, some of which is probably concurrent with Joyce’s opinions on fiction and the writing thereof. But what keeps Stephen from being an author surrogate of the sort I mean here is that he never really comments upon the texts in which he appears. As far as literary art goes, he holds drama in the highest regard, so he doesn’t talk about novels much at all. Togame, on the other hand, remorselessly kicks the fourth wall down — and it can be funny, I’ll grant, but it can also be distracting, and the line between the two is thin.

So, what I mean by “author surrogate” is a character who (being written by the author) speaks with an authorial voice on matters of the text at hand, and does so in a moderately explicit way. This is problematic for me for two reasons. Firstly, until I’ve finished reading a thing at least once, I generally don’t want to know what it means to the author, lest my reading be affected. I’d rather not have my hand held. And secondly, I consider it a little irresponsible on the part of an author to indulge those readers who would limit their readings (and those of others, when possible) based on the author’s opinions — but, as that basically amounts to a complaint that writers too often give the majority of readers what they seem to want, I’ll accept that I’m being somewhat unreasonable here.

Or perhaps what I’m complaining about is simply the inward-looking text. A text’s commentary on itself is text, isn’t it? But a text can look inward, I think, without “reading” itself — without telling its reader how things should be interpreted. One reason I generally don’t read high fantasy anymore is the tendency of some authors in that genre to make all the requisite moral judgments for the reader. Perhaps, then, I’m leveling a complaint at unambiguous texts specifically. Or texts unambiguous in a specific way.

Suffice to say that I think Katanagatari is doing okay so far, but that I have my concerns.

Durarara!! 3-7

What was the last episode I wrote about? I guess it was the second, regarding all that interstitial mapping business. Which has more or less carried on as expected, but I haven’t felt the need to write a post for each episode telling Durarara!! to keep up the good work.

The third episode was good. But, I have to admit, the fourth put me off for a while. It occurred to me that I didn’t want any backstory for Celty — I didn’t want her to have a definite name, even. Episode seven gives another supernatural entity human roots, but I’m alright with Shizuo being half-human. Celty, on the other hand, is the ur-faerie. She doesn’t do extraordinary things with mundane objects; she doesn’t throw vending machines, or move quickly and knife people — she rides a motorcycle that’s actually a spirit-horse, and she pulls a scythe out of her smoking neck-hole. Somehow I wanted her to remain wholly magical, and by that I mean I wanted her existence to be a matter of “just because.” She’s less impressive now that we know how she got to where she is, and what she means to do there. But maybe that’s the point, as she’s made more human with each episode, it seems. We may as well let her be human, or humanized. It’s not as though we have anyone to blame for magic and myth but ourselves.

Speaking of ur-faeries and half-humans and such, I’m noticing a hierarchy of mysterious characters emerging. Toward the bottom, or human, end, we have Kida, who knows more than he lets on, but doesn’t seem to be actively involved in the unusual; the Dollars are somewhat higher up, and Simon, Shizuo, and Izaya higher still; and at the top we have, perhaps needless to say, Celty, the dullahan herself. With each episode the strange elements of Ikebukuro look more like a proper mythology.

A preliminary note: I think I’m the last person to have discovered Media Player Classic. But if you haven’t, you ought to do so. If VLC is giving you as many problems as it gave me, and you’re on the fence about axing the thing for good, take the plunge, I say — but bear in mind that MPC doesn’t do quick screencaps like VLC does. I haven’t decided yet how much that bothers me.

With that out of the way, let’s begin.

Sora no Woto 8

Was this episode executed brilliantly or what?

I mean, piss isn’t exactly highbrow subject matter. But that’s precisely why I like to see it in a show like Sora no Woto. The average slice of life girl tends not to suffer from such biological inclinations; she may sweat and need to bathe every once in a while, but toilet mechanics are often left to the imaginations of readers. Not so in Kanata’s case. It really isn’t hard to make the leap from moeblob to human (or else the two needn’t be mutually exclusive), as Sora no Woto’s writers seem to have discovered.

And anyway, who can’t relate to Kanata’s unfortunate urinary situation? Who hasn’t been there? The presentation is great, I think — we know what the “conflict” will be from the beginning, and we’re waiting tensely for it to arise, and when it does the level of viewer discomfort spirals quickly from unpleasant to nigh unbearable. So it went for me, anyway. And I found it funny and clever and uncomfortable in an entertaining way, but it isn’t hard for me to imagine the viewer who wouldn’t.

Something that didn’t occur to me until chikorita157 mentioned it is that the entire episode takes place in one room. Strange that I missed it, as that’s the sort of structural novelty that generally catches my interest.

Mobile Suit Gundam Unicorn 1

From Twitter:

2.26.2010 4:01:55 Gundam Unicorn 1: What a Gundam protagonist this guy is!

2.26.2010 4:29:56 Gundam Unicorn 1 cont.: I am not disappointed. Definitely not disappointed.

Perhaps Ghostlightning has it right — perhaps the possibility of perfection is greater than what manifests therefrom. When Gundam Unicorn was nothing but raw infinite possibility (I wasn’t about to go looking for the novels, anyway), I could manage to be plenty excited about it. But would I remain excited once I began watching it?

Yes. Yes I would.

On the whole, it feels like Gundam. Only tight — it feels like the 0079 movies, which, I’m told, cut a lot of extraneous bits from the plot of the TV run. And this is not ZZ with its Hobo-Yazan and Bright getting kicked in the head by some pissant wanker. This is serious business. Were Barnagher a little more like Kamille Bidan, I’d already be worried about him. Hell, I’m worried about him anyway.

I don’t suppose I have too much wisdom to dispense re: Gundam Unicorn just yet. I don’t doubt that I will. Ghostlightning covers the “possibility” theme well in his post, so read it; I want to see a little more of the (reverse?) Pandora’s box deal before I comment on that angle. My favorite part is probably Barnagher’s figurative baptism by blood in the Unicorn cockpit, above — it’s as if the story’s telling the poor kid, the newly-initiated Gundam protagonist, to go ahead and get used to the feel of being bloodied before it happens in a combat situation, literally, metaphorically, or (most likely) both.

So let’s talk about episodes six and seven. I hear the seventh episode has the internet all abuzz, but I thought the sixth was very good, too — and maybe it’s a necessary precursor to what follows.

Episode six revolves in part around a subverted “things aren’t what they seem” bit. Phylicia & co. (minus the oblivious Kanata) put on an act to frighten away a pair of mafia operatives who have been hanging about (and who, at long last, represent present danger in a world we’ve come to know is dangerous secondhand). And this works — but, as it turns out, our lovable soldiers have some sort of relationship with a more local criminal organization, and operate a wine-making racket which, allegedly, could get them far more than court-marshaled if the military finds out. Huh.

And while this is happening, Kanata is off slice-of-lifing it up, buying gifts for her family and helping an orphan girl come to terms with her present situation. This is conveyed in the episode’s second half, which temporally parallels the first.

I love this sort of fast-paced, “cluttered” slice of life, where the viewer is given the impression that Protagonist-san’s life-slices are only a few slices among a great many, and that there’s always much more going on than is readily apparent. And besides, this seems a significant episode in Sora no Woto’s progression; the familiar episode structure we’ve become used to is pulled out from under us, and we learn that, yes, Sora no Woto does have steely enough cojones to threaten its characters with bodily harm, whether by forcing them to walk a tightrope between military and mafia, or –

Jesus Christ! Did they accidentally run another show in Sora no Woto’s time slot?

No, this is Phylicia, sure enough. Who watched all her friends die.

Huh.

Where do we even begin to discuss the seventh episode? The horrifying war flashbacks work well in contrast to the earlier slice of life stuff. The underplayed “present-day” bits work in comparison to the earlier slice of life stuff — it’s what we expect, rendered stark and bizarre in its presentation as breathers between scenes of Phylicia’s ordeal, and we have to wonder whether the peace we’ve come to take for granted in Seize is itself a temporary breather. And of course the war flashbacks and present-day bits work well with one another, as, between flashbacks, it’s almost time for Obon.

The narration here is uncertain (and if there’s anything I like, it’s uncertain narration). Phylicia claims not to be fretting over those events in her past we’re allowed to see. Is she lying? Probably, I’d assume, if we’re allowed to see her past at all, and insofar as the present-day segments occur at a time set aside for remembrance of the dead. But whether the narration simply jumps back and forth at will, or whether it’s meant to convey Phylicia’s mental state, is anyone’s guess. It was rather detached in the previous episode, after all.

And there’s that brief stretch during which we see Phylicia interacting with her former squad-mates in noncombat situations. That was her slice of life experience — which terminated unpleasantly, to say the least. We have to wonder anxiously whether Kanata’s will end similarly. Hereafter, Sora no Woto’s use of slice of life won’t simply be peaceful and relaxing. There will always be an underlying tension, lurking below, seeking opportunities to surface.

Now, in my estimation, all of the above makes for a truly fantastic episode, and absolutely thrills me with the prospect of what’s to come. But here’s the part that really got me:

Pure, unadulterated Pontifus-service. Not fair, Sora no Woto. Not fair at all.

So, if I may, I’ll make an effort at clearing things up a bit.

Let’s take a look at a few choice morsels from a post by Anime Vice writer Boddington.

In this writer’s opinion, I believe that though the aforementioned titles [Kodomo no Jikan, Strike Witches, Chu-Bra!!] are well beyond the limits of good taste and skirting the edge of being morally repugnant they are not criminal.

I respect Boddington’s admission of his artistic preferences here. Bias is always, always a factor — as Neil Gaiman puts it, “one person’s obscenity is another person’s art” — though obviously there’s more at work in the Handley case than what one finds fappable.

Now, while no children are exploited in the production of hardcore lolicon manga I feel the situation is more complicated than just immediate harm to children who are used in such a way. I apologize if this comes off sounding condescending, but people often forget that all things operate on complex systems. Good and evil, black and white, toast and jam are all just far too simplistic ways to meaningfully view the world. My point here is that in the short term, while no children were victimized to make these titles, lolicon porn manga still promotes the practice of pedophilia and it’s not an immense leap to see how these titles can set the gears in motion leading to the real molestation of children. [emphasis mine]

I’ve hacked this bit into three major claims that, in my estimation, need to be addressed.

Should we consider anything more than whether children were harmed in the making of the doujins in question? Well, yes, I’d say — not that this renders irrelevant the fact that no children were harmed in the making of the doujins in question. Whether Handley’s money went into an immediately exploitative industry (or, as seems to have been the case, didn’t) makes a difference — if nothing else, we can establish with some certainty that the guy isn’t knowingly supporting child abuse. But, as Boddington observes, there are a few more things to consider.

Now, does lolicon manga “promote” the practice of pedophilia? Not really — or, I should say, not by itself.

I doubt I need to explain the degree to which opinions on media effects can be mixed, even in the fields of media studies and communications — you’ve all run across studies of varying repute on the effects of video games on children, I’m sure, some demonstrating that Grand Theft Auto will be the downfall of human civilization, others showing that violent video games don’t make much difference on child development at all. But, as I understand it, experts tend toward a more moderate position. Violent or pornographic material renders consumers more likely to think about violence and pornography. Does it prompt consumers to commit violent acts in spite of the societal norms that have shaped them since birth? No — but if the consumers in question are already predisposed toward violence, the issue becomes less clear.

Here we come to that leap, immense or no, required to demonstrate that loli doujins can result in child abuse. It’s a leap that, to my knowledge, those who sentenced Handley never bothered to make. At no point was it demonstrated that, given Handley’s psychology and background, drawings of girls under the U.S. age of consent engaged in sex acts might prompt Handley to try the depicted acts himself. Perhaps potential harm to children supersedes free speech, but, in Handley’s case, it never seemed clear that there was ever any real threat of children being harmed.

Contrary to popular belief, most people are able to distinguish between fiction and reality. I’ve been exposed to violence and pornography for quite a while now, and I’ve neither physically harmed nor sexually harassed anyone; I’d imagine most of you can say the same of yourselves, whether you agree with the Handley ruling or not. There is, I’d imagine, viable territory yet to be explored by the anti-Handleyites — the territory of the subtle effects of long-term exposure, and of psychological predispositions and their implications, and of relevant studies published in reputable communications and psychology journals — and I’d like to see these explorations, rather than the reduction of lolicon into sex offender fuel, into the unsavory side of the black/white, good/evil binaries to which Boddington objects.